Saturday, July 30, 2005

eternal sunshine

If I would have my memory erased, would I still meet you again?

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Just random thoughts. Whenever I watch a movie, its either I get to relieve with it or get traumatized and never watch it again. Like in IF ONLY, my friends are already fed up with me bringing it up. Maybe I talk too much about it because I could or I would also die for love. I love the idea of being in love and having someone to share it with.

Now this movie, ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND, is another one that I must say, moved me to a different psyche. But in my case, I would have a diverse way of the procedure. First, I would let my memories be taken away, all the pain and all the joys that I have experienced. WHY? Because I would rather not meet him than see us both being hurt. I know he's happy now. And maybe I'm not that miserable anymore because I'm starting to appreciate my present situation. But I hate it whenever memories would take over me and feel sorry for not continuing the relationship, or I haven't fought for it. I know, pathetic, but I finally realized that I should really learn to love myself again and not make myself wretched anymore. And you know what, I grew tired of waiting so kahit 20% na lang daw ang straight guys sa Earth, (according to DUDA)
I would still wait and hang on to the idea of love.

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again, I bummed the whole weekend. Watched 2 movies actually, CLOSER and ETERNAL SUNSHINE nga, then back-to-back episodes of Gilmore Girls. Next week, Rory’s graduation na. Actually reruns na lang sya, but still I really like the show.

Oh I wish that Sun Cellular would work already. I have to text people and disturb them all. Nyahaha. That's an advantage when you're single you know? You get to text or call your friends and ask if they happen to know someone you could date. But so far, I haven't got any. Sayang. Hehe just kidding. Graduate muna ko.

Have to go soak my head to the nearest pillow. I'm sluggish already.

my layout's ruined again?

my layout is ruined. i dunno what happened with it. but im not fretting yet, i think there's this connection problem in the library again.

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i cant believe what happened yesterday! the only day that i was absent was the day that they have been doing the broadcast exercise. i really missed the chance. and i really wanted to be a broadcaster? stupid grad studio. i hate them now.

ive been restless these past few days. almost everyday, i would just have 3-6 hours of sleep. no wonder hindi na ko tumangkad no? its just so tiring to go to school, go malling and have a life at the same time. parang wala na kong "ME" time katulad noon where i could spend the whole day bumming, tapos i would watch all the movies i could see, have a mani-pedi courtesy of myself and just lie on the bed.

i cant see myself doing all that anymore.

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ive been meaning to change the other blog's layout. im maintaining 3 blogs already plus the one on multiply. but as ive said, i need new inspirations. help!

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gotta stop chatting now. im talking wto myself already..

Friday, July 29, 2005

lonely

for the past twenty minutes, i really felt that its lonely without your friends if you happen to have your gradpic taken..

nyahaha, i just felt sad that there's no one to cheer me up and force me to smile. i dont like to see the photographer's face. i wanna see mela, bubut or even brent there. i cant even decide on what to choose for the annual, the 8R and the 2r's and believe it or not, this picture would forever haunt me because it is a living proof that i graduated (or about to graduate) at USTe..

i feel really bad.

i dont feel confident on how i looked because i was comparing it to my cutesy high school gradpic.. i know, pathetice isnt it, but it feels sad picking out without friends having their thoughts or something.. tapos wala rin akong gradpic sa fone ko.. nakakainis talaga..buti na nga lang nandun si DADA and PRINCESS MICHIE, or else, im gonna barf..

just so everyone would know, its my first time to be absent on one of my majors. i mean, i skipped thesis to watch if only, but missing Broadcast Journalism class is a lot to me. argh..i really feel bad not seeing Mam Mamawal and all the things i could learn, especially when it could pave my my way to ba famous..

tama na nga..

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have to meet my friends pa.. waah! i missed broadjourn. i cant even stop thinking about it...

looking back..

whattheheck! i just wanna have fun right now..got this from michi

BOLD THE ONES YOU'VE DONE*

smoked a cigarette
smoked a cigar
madeout with a member of the same sex
crashed a friend's car
stolen a car
been in love-- over and over again
been dumped --same old, same old
shoplifted
been fired
been in a fist fight
snuck out of my parents’ house-- by this, i mean lied to get out of the house
had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back--same old din..
been arrested
made out with a stranger
gone on a blind date -- once and he became my boyfriend!
lied to a friend
had a crush on a teacher
been to Europe
skipped school --kanina lang..huhuhu!
slept with a co-worker
seen someone die
been to Canada
been to Mexico
been on a plane-- via Iloilo..i wanna go back there!
thrown up in a bar
purposely set a part of myself on fire
eaten Sushi
been snowboarding
met someone in person from xanga
been moshing at a concert
been in an abusive relationship --emotionally speaking..
taken painkillers
love someone or miss someone right now
laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
made a snow angel -- may snow ba sa Pinas?
had a tea party
flown a kite
built a sand castle
played dress up

jumped into a pile of leaves
gone sledding
cheated while playing a game
been lonely
fallen asleep at work/school
-- ano pa kaya si Mela? hehehe
watched the sunset
felt an earthquake
touched a snake
slept beneath the stars
been tickled

been robbed
been misunderstood
petted a reindeer/goat
won a contest --from candymag..wow!
run a red light
been suspended from school
been in a car accident
had braces
felt like an outcast -lalo na nung High SChool
eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
had deja vu
danced in the moonlight
hated the way you look
witnessed a crime
questioned your heart
been obsessed with post-it notes
squished barefoot through the mud
been lost --kadiri pero nung papunta kami ng star city..argh!
been to the opposite side of the country
swam in the ocean
felt like dying
cried yourself to sleep --especially nung breakup with starfish
played cops and robbers
recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
sung karaoke --actually nabubulahaw na mga neighbors
paid for a meal with only coins
done something you told yourself you wouldn't
made prank phone calls
laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
--sorry tin..
caught a snowflake on your tongue
danced in the rain
written a letter to Santa Claus
been kissed under a mistletoe
watched the sun rise with someone you care about
blown bubbles --edmund's bday..children's party..nyahaha
made a bonfire on the beach
crashed a party
gone rollerskating
had a wish come true
humped a monkey
worn pearls
jumped off a bridge
screamed penis in class
ate dog/cat food
told a complete stranger you loved them
kissed a mirror
sang in the shower

have a little black dress
had a dream that you married someone--counted ba si Paul Nicholls?
glued your hand to something
got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
kissed a fish
worn the opposite sex's clothes
been a cheerleader
sat on a roof top
screamed at the top of your lungs --normal lang sakin..hehe
done a one-handed cartwheel
talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
stayed up all night
didn't take a shower for a week
pick and ate an apple right off the tree
climbed a tree
had a tree house
are scared to watch scary movie
believe in ghosts
have more then 30 pairs of shoes
worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
gone streaking
played ding-dong-ditch
played chicken
been pushed into a pool with your clothes on
been told you're hot by a complete stranger
broken a bone
been easily amused

caught a fish then ate it
made porn
caught a butterfly
laughed so hard you cried
cried so hard you laughed
cheated on a test

have a Britney Spears CD --i have two actually.
forgotten someone's name
slept naked
French braided someone's hair
gone skinny dippin in a pool
been threatened to be kicked out of your house
been kicked out your house

**actually, konti pa yan,though it doesnt really make me one heck of a person, kahit mga simple things lang, could be very special..(ayy, nagsenti..)

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

pathetic na bata..

have been answering surveys over time..arrgh, wala talagang magawa these past few days..

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natapos ang SONA yesterday, i watched it and saw Drilon smirking.. politics talaga.. pero i dnt wanna replace pGMA..dont want to..yay yay!

Mela, Brent and I have to meet for our sportsjourn interview today..i guess its really time to work na since i really bummed the whole weekend.. i have been watching a heck lot of movies and forgot that i have responsibilities pa..

but i was really fun.. i mean just lying on the bed and doing nothing....besides daydreaming of course..

at sino pa ba dine-daydream? shempre si paul nicholls.. i really hooked..

oh, survey nalang nga..

:: threesssss.... ::
Three names you go by:
1. Ria
2. Hazel
3. Iya or iyay

Three screen names you have had:
1. sugarsmile
2. hazelnut
3. supergoddess(nyahaha!)

Three physical things you like about yourself:
1. my eyes
2. hair
3. my voice.

Three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. arms( arrgh!)
2. my nose
3. hands

Three parts of your heritage:
1. Filipino
2. Chinese
3. Ilongga

Three things that scare you:
1. mice!
2. death
3. being single forever

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. food
2. powder
3. perfume

Three of your favorite musical artists:
1. J. Lo
2. MYMP
3. Mariah Carey

Three of your favorite songs:
1. Tell me where it hurts
2. the day you said goodnight
3. breakdown

Three things you want in a relationship:
1. Love
2. honesty
3. passion

Three lies and truths in no particular order:
LIES:
1. I could get over a relationship easily
2. Never akong nagka-boyfriend
3.i hate my exes.
TRUTH:
1. I'm still hoping that he’ll come back
2. I could sing all day
3. I love my friends

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. dazzling eyes
2. pointed nose
3. good singing voice

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. singing
2. Reading
3. blogging

Three things you want to do really badly now:
1. Call teddy bear and clear everything
2. punch starfish (just kidding)
3. join a singing contest

Three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. be a broadcaster
2. journalist
3. a performer (singer)

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. London (if only! Nyahaha!)
2. Hongkong (shopping!)
3. Australia! (nyahahaha! Hahabulin ko xa!)

Three kid's names you like:
1. Tiffany
2. Jasmine (kaso name na ng baby ni bezzie yun eh!)
3. Amber

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. get married
2. be a broadcaster
3. be close to my parents

Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. I HAD (meaning past ha!) crushes on girls
2. I think Jessica Simpson looks HOT!
3. I like hanging out with guys

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. I love pink!
2. I'm not a pig(hehe)
3. I make pa-cute whenever there is a handsome guy.

Three celeb crushes:
1. Paul Nicholls! (marry me n0w!)
2. Josh Hartnett
3. Lee Dong Gun

THREE people that I would like to see take this quiz:
1. Nina
2. Malyn
3. Brent

Sunday, July 24, 2005

im hoping for a new layout.. yoohoo..abby?!?
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so anyway, i just got from mela's dorm and went to the bus station via Olongapo.. i wish i could also take a break from all the pressures that ive been experiencing. and i promised myself that during this long weekend, i would reeeelaaaxx.... (i just stressed the relax since i really plan to do so.)

and i feel guilty for passing our article to Vanessa. i mean, i know she could also do the editing and all. i hope she wont get mad at me.. after all, wala namang class sa Monday..

and here's to politics: im not sure what would be GMA's SONA for this season but im really hoping for the best. i just hope this country could stop experiencing terrible things because its making the Philippines tired from all the fights and rallies.. if our national flag and our heroes could only speak today, i wonder kung ano sasabihin nila sa Pinas.. but for sure, they wouldnt be proud..

ok, lets stop the politicking (from POLDY) die oh die..

i have decided to make my gradpic taken this wednesday, just so i could have a reason to go to school and have to think of ways to confess everything to my parents. this would be a very long trial to discuss..

gotta go check my sanity..barf..

Thursday, July 21, 2005

halfway done

suddenly, my urge to blog is kicking in my head again

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actually, im proud to say that my to-do list was halfway done.. finished the interview, finished the blogging article, and the report for commtheory.. all i have to do tonight is to review for the Broadjourn test, write the sports article and do the assignment for my Ethics class. i hate this but my eyes arent that clear anymore.. base from my mom's conclusion, it was probably because of 1. lack of sleep
2. too much time in front of the computer and
3. that I refuse to wear the eyeglasses that she gave me

...and apparently, im always wrong.....again

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Nina forces me to go with with her to take our graduation pictures. they did it yesterday but they have to re-take because the togas that they've worn are not the ones for our college.. at least i wont have to go there again like them..nyahaha..but eventually, i will have to let them take my graduation picture.. im just scared to face a lot of responsibilities and scared that i might not get what i deserve.. and another thing is, i dont want them to take a picture of me looking like a sick pet. i want to have lots of sleep first, make the pimples--due to stress-- on my face disappear.. katulad nung sinabi ni bob ong, nakakainis ang pimple, parang sinasabi nya na "isa kong malaking pimple na tinubuan ng mukha.. teka, i feel so groos already.. sorry for telling you all these..

after this, gagalugarin ko ang Quiapo to have an IF ONLY VCD , oo ganun ako ka-engrossed sa story that's why i would resort to a cheaper and hopefully clear copy.. i even made kuya harold look for it sa net, havent found the movie so i really have to search Quiapo..a must for today..its just that i fell its my reward for doing lots of things and having to experience a heck of complications these past few days..pero nami-miss ko na yung teddy bear ko!!! balik ka na kasi dito!

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magpakasaya na tayong lahat habang may time..nyahahaha!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

not yet..

and eventually, im not over it yet..

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i cant believe im saying this..

ive been stupid to myself and to my friends..

i failed to let them see the real me..

nyahaha..joke lang, namimiss ko lang kayong lahat..

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but really, the past occurences was so weird to explain.. its as if the world is ganging up on me..but then, i couldnt let it swallow me whole.. i have to fight for my sanity..

watched WAR OF THE WORLDS last night..sorry loser, kagabi lang po because i have this report regarding the movie and a radio show in 1930's..i mean, how could the people be so naive? i guess yan ang epekto ng media sa people..wow! i could also rule the universe..but nah, im not planning on that.. im not usualy submissive but i cant take over the world..not for now..

and also watched MY WIFE IS A GANGSTER.. shempre, feel good movie ulit..para naman tumawa ko ng sobra.. though im not, i mean, i refuse to cry for now, i guess, ill be alright.. tough nga ako sabi ni bubut..

gotta go meet our thesis adviser for now..i cant believe i went to netopia para mag-internet..oo kuripot ako, ayoko talaga dito pero i have to pour my sentiments here..

ciao...

Monday, July 18, 2005

fun fun and super fun..

though i havent watched UAAP for a long time, im glad that that i finally went yesterday, although obviously, the Tigers doesnt have a slightest chance to win the game opposing the Eagles..nyahahaha, but found a new crushie.. Chester Taylor..have to investigate on him..after all, the game is for my sportsjourn class naman, so i shouldnt be a sore na pumunta ng game..

BTW, Brent, Mela and moi didnt go to the acquaitance party (though everyone said it rocked) because we had other plans.. we went to Starcity after the UAAP game..o diba? layas talaga kaming tatlo! I even got mixed up on what station to stop..i forgot how to get there! nyahaha.. stupid girl..

so yun, we went first to VIKING, then FLYING CARPET, HAUNTED HOUSE, THE MUMMY and lastly, THE BUMBER BOATS..had fun on the bumper boats because we really rocked the pool..tapos sobrang paikot-ikot na sinulit talaga namin yung ride dahil curfew na..

at shempreh, was scared to go home and invented alibis if ever a snatcher or a hold-upper would ride on the jeepney.. i cant give them my fone! and i really mean i was so paranoid that i might be included to teh people na nauuso at nahoholdap now and then..katulad na lang ni sed..wahahaha!

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but im recovered now, im still sick, but not that sick anymore

pero literally, i knew something would bug me again.. i never thoight it would bug me again, but if he's happy, i guess i shouldnt be thinking of anything anymore.. i just wish that he showed the same feeling when were still together.. but whatever, im not sourgraping or anything.. im just sad for myself but im happy that he attained that happiness again..i guess he deserves it.

BAKIT LAHAT NALANG KAYO MAY GIRLFRIEND NA! BULAG BA KAYO? BINGI BA KAYO SA MGA PARINIG KO? O SOBRA LANG TALAGA KAYONG TANGA DAHIL WALA AKONG KA-AMOR-AMOR SA INYO? WHY? ANSWER ME? DROP A LINE! MAAWA NA KAYO SAKIN! BIGYAN NYO KO NG DECENT REASON!!!!

shitting done...amp...

Saturday, July 16, 2005

galing!

ang galing nung numerology thingie..lalo na sa MOVING ON part..got this from camz..'stig!

Your Soul Number is FIVE.A deep inner restlessness and discontent with the status quo makes you seek out adventure, excitement, and the unconventional. You thrive on new ideas, change, travel, experimenting with new ways of doing things. Predictability and routine make you feel lifeless and unhappy so you must find a lifestyle that is varied enough to be mentally stimulating and challenging. Independent, freedom-loving, and easily bored, you have trouble making commitments and finishing projects. You often "move on" prematurely, whether in a personal relationship or in your work. You need to develop discipline and perseverance when you have an important goal. You have many talents and need many outlets and avenues for their expression, but try to finish one thing before attempting the next.

ano ba 'tong pinasok ko?

ano ba 'tong pinasok ko?

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ang dami ko pa palang gagawin and i cant seem to finish them all.. unang-una, wala pa kaming interview kay sir torres, then, wala pa rin akong article on blogging (not that its so hard, but then, wednesday na deadline), walang kumocontact samin for the prostitution article, eh goodluck, sa 30 na pala iyon ipa-pass, tapos we havent met Maam Tuble for the next report pa, tapos may iba pa pala akong kasama sa blogging article, at si Johan yun, at hindi nya alam na kasama namin siya, at worse, hindi ko pa nasasabi. and to top it all up, we have to watch at least one UAAP game for the Sports Journalism Article for Maam Mamawal..

ayoko na sa mundo!

at syempre, hindi pa din tapos ang issue nila POETICS AT OEDIPUS REX.. still havent finished reading the other one, at may bago silang in-upload na ewan ko if i still have to read it.. ang buhay ng isang journalism student, kailangan gawing araw ang gabi at gawing gabi ang araw..nyahahaha..

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yesterday, mama, papa and i went to the PAL airport to see Kuya Arnel's family..was great dahil pauwi na sila ng Canada, and super miss ko na si kuya.. siguro sa lahat ng cousins ko, sya lang yung super ka-close ko..and i promised na next time na bumalik sya sa Philippines, sobrang ito-tour ko na sya ng Manila..and super gimikan na since may job na siguro ako nun..

after pumunta ng airport, diretso agad ako ng USTe for Filipino Journalism.. next week, we'll go to Robplace to cover parts of that mall..o diba? ang kaisa-isang course na nagpupunta sa mall for education.. Brent's lucky hand did it again and we were assigned to be covering the moviehouse! so cool!

and lastly, yesterday, Mela, Jam Badet and i went to Robplace to watch IF ONLY.. Ayokong maging spoiler pero super ganda talaga ng story ang sure na iiyak talaga kayo.. sabi ko pa nga kay Badet, wag muna kaming lalabas agad ng movie house kasi baka sabihin ng mga tao, inaway niya kaming tatlo nila mela.. ang galing nung story talaga..and it was very very touching. ang cute pa ni PAUL NICHOLLS.. tapos his accent kind of reminded me pa of Marlon..nyahaha, i know i should forget him but..whatever..



if only 2 if only


we went pala sa opening ng SM SAN LAZARO.. corny kamin sorry! pero cool nung mall na yun..may mga books pa sa booksale ng mga nicholas sparks and everything na 120 pesos lang..i love that mall na! we promised to go back there pag may time, after all, its just a jeepney away from USTE..and we pronounced it as the UST mall..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRENTIE!!!!

dami ko ng sinabi..sobrang jampacked ang social life..bye!

Thursday, July 14, 2005

bleep me

Have to pass my report (again) to Mam Tuble.. I just wish I could really do all my responsibilities and have fun at the same time, also, I need moneymaking endeavors coz ive noticed that ive been spending too much. With my birthday and other events coming up, I feel as if I couldn't keep up with them considering that I'm always penniless. My mom doesn't help either. I dunno, maybe its my stubbornness and I'm shy to ask her for extra allowance. So kung sino man may alam na racket jan, magparamdam na.. Ms. Jackie even texted me if I know someone who needs an OJT and she said that may allowance daw. Nakakainis sya.. dapat nung nasa Manila Times pa lang ako, sinabi na nya, so I would have earnings diba? Have to talk to her, baka pwede ako or something. Kaso I was thinking, that with my tight schedule, baka mamatay na lang ako sa dami ng gusto kong gawin.. arrgh..sayang talaga..

Jonnah Lou asked me yesterday kung sino daw tinutukoy ko sa blog, well, its obvious naman eh. If you want to defend him, do so. Its just that I feel as if I have nothing to lose, so I already let it out to have peace if mind. And it's the only way I could really forget and let it go. I hope you understand. Ayokong maging abogado ka niya. And this is not a test of loyalty, but kung naguguluhan sya sa mga nangyayari, ako naman nasasaktan. I just don't want to think about it anymore, but it keeps on coming back. I know you told me that I shouldn’t hope for him, but I did, and, that's what my heart felt at that time. On the other hand, alam ko selfish dahil nagka-boyfriend din naman ako, pero I was hurt because I thought that he and I are friends but it seemed like we aren't what we looked like. And that’s what I'm complaining about. I do not hope for you to be on my side but I think you should also weigh on what I'm talking about.

As I was flipping at the options of my media player because I wanted to hear a particular song again without having to push a button again, I saw this one selection that says "REPEAT FOREVER". I was laughing because I thought it is a stupid phrase coz they could've just said "Repeat Continuously" or something right? And it got me thinking, if it were to be applied to a relationship, would you like to repeat it FOREVER? Some might say that "if I could only turn back time, I would do it again", but my thoughts are different now, if it becomes a never-ending cycle, I would rather choose to die than to repeat it forever. If you really love the person, and if you wanna be happy, there eventually must have an END. That my friends, is what I learned in my Ethics class..=)

Well, I hope I cleared everything. I don't wanna talk about it again. Ive been through a lot these past few days. I wish I could have someone to really comfort me and hold me when I start to cry again…

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

i...feel...sick

"Maybe it was I you were looking! It is I James Nepomuceno your past suitor that is supertanga at torpe! Maybe the reasons were my youngness and sensitiveness that kept me away! But if you will give me another chance, I will make sure that I won't let you escape from my heart's net.I know it won't be easy, but pls inform me if you would let me enter at your precious_garden_heart thx and God Bless!!!"
---byron james..
o di ba? ang haba ng hair ko nito..ei,sorry for not asking permission to post this, but it just made me feel nice right now..maybe because i feel stupid and feel as if i could never be able to love or experience it again..but anyway, i guess that's just life is.. and the problem is, "LAHAT NA LANG SILA NAGKAKA-GiRLFRIEND ngayon!" lamo yun? i cant believe this..yung feeling mo na may edge ka na sa kanila dahil friends kayo, then suddenly you would hear from your friends na iba na pala nililigawan nila?
well, i think its my fault too.. but i cant tell them how i feel because its not right.. siguro the only person na nasasabihan ko lang talaga ng feelings ko eh si PAT..panu ba naman, sobrang kilala na nya ko, so why should i still lie diba?
pero still, i feel so stupid, sobrang umulan na naman kanina..see, everytime na gusto kong umiyak, the sky do that for me...
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bday na ng mga friends ko next week!
13-bubut and shang
15- brentskie
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acquaintance on saturday, but were not really going.. have other plans with mela and brent..tsaka nga daming ginagawa..articles and stuff.. kaya talagang pag grumaduate ako, mag-eenjoy ako after nun..hehehe

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

not bad..

i found out that im not that bad after all...

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)High
Level 2 (Lustful)Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Low


Take the Dante's" Inferno Test

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im going to be in purgatory daw..wow i feel so privileged..

so anyway, edmund held his party yesterday..and it felt so tiring afterwards..especially with the cough and all..i cant feel my lungs na nga..(as if i could really feel that)..

i miss my grandma.. i wish that she couldve still be there for us..but anyway, its impossible.. i had this feeling when i started to grind my teeth again.. actually, it was one bad habit for me.. i remembered being with her one night.. i was already drifting to dreamland when a slipper slapped my face.. of course, ive been awaken by the slap, so i asked my lola why she did that.. but she didnt explain it to me..she just said "matulog ka na, sasabihin ko nalang bukas".. sleepy that i am, i just didnt mind that she just did that.. then after a few minutes, she did that again.. i loudly complained na "Nay naman bakit kanina mo pa ko sinasampal! ano ba ginagawa ko sayo?", but she didnt reply again..the following day, she said nga that i was grinding my teeth while sleeping so she had to slap me without knowing it so i wouldnt tolerate that habit..hello? connection please? but i really miss her, with all her out-of-this world traditions and stuff..

...im just sad that Edmund wont be able to experience these things with her anymore..

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i have been a fan of korean movies lately..watched love so divine, spring breeze and white valentine..have plans to go to quiapo for more korean movies..its just so good to see korean drama actors doing comedy for a change.. like Kwon Sang Woo of Stairway to heaven, as in sobrang iyak sila ng iyak..at least dito, super comedy na sila..

******************************
jayson asked me to go to starcity..but i declined! huhuhu..i feel sad for doing that..its just that with all the school expenses and other gimmicks, i couldnt afford to go with him..i feel sad because its my only chance to prove him that we belong together..wahehehe..arrgh..kainis talaga! pero siya naman yung nauna na walang magic daw kami..might as well continue it..

*****************************
have to go research pa..puro nalang research..grrh.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

alleluia!

i thought i would have another assignment but mam tuble wanted me to read the selection first..but anyhow, i still have to read the POETICS, OEDIPUS REX, TAXATION CASES, so on and so forth..

....and im dying by the way!

every minute of my life gets too tiring.. Mam Rivera told us last Monday to "take a walk, watch a movie", but i doubt we could ever make that again.. we cant even go to the Acquaintance Party, eh watch a movie pa kaya? but i have to *ehem* read these all nights.. i hope i could make it through the day..considering that i still have tons to do, house chores and all, and yeah, keep my sanity again..

the things we have to go through to survive senior year...haay...just to get the freaking diploma, mamamatay na talaga ko!

oh well, i decided to be serious from now on so might as well get over it and really make it possible from now on..and have to achieve something before i leave the PONTIFICAL, ROYAL, and CATHOLIC University of the Philippines--UST...ugh, whatever ria..

and im having a hunch that my fone's going to be alive again..soon.. kasi my parents and i had this conversation about the broken charger and that it couldnt be fixed and i might as well buy a new one..and they sort of agreed..Excited din coz Edmund's gonna have this party sa house.. 4 years old na c baby mon..dati lang ineexpect namin si tita to be conceiving a baby girl, tapos ngayon, yung baby namin, malapit ng pumasok sa school..time really flies so fast..
*cough, cough*..im tired of being sick..actually, last night, i was so dizzy that i didnt have the chance to finish my report last night..i even thought i was gonna throw up..
to do list for tonight:
1. laundry...sucks!
2. talk to other journalese staffers to help for Sir Victor Torres article and Blogging article, have to ask about Investigative journ report pa..
3. do ETHICS assignment..am actually having fun with the subject..i hope i could get a flat one on this..=)
4. Read Poetics, Oedipus Rex, Taxation
5. Finish.. (tararantaran) the application for GRADUATION FORM!
oh sya, serious na talagang kahit wala munang lovelife..magpakasaya na kayo ngayon..hehehe

have to go now..will pay the bills pa kasi.. volunteered to do that since i have to impress my mom to finally let me have the charger..

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

rain rain go away!

i hate that rain's been pouring so hard.. now i really feel so sick.. well, it started when i was stranded two saturdays ago.. i really thought that i would swim fro Divisoria to Tondo, but that really made me sick.. 2 weeks na actually..

i am about to have this post last sunday, but the following days kasi, things have been stumbling in my life.. unexpected events actually..

last sunday, i finally confirmed that guy#2 really has someone special na.. but im meaning to tell him that we should just really part ways because i dont want to cause anymore trouble to him and his girlfriend.. i chose to be really away from him because as much i hate to admit, i had deeper feelings to him, and i thought he did too..but anyway,damage has been done and i cant change the turn of events anymore.. i just wish that hindi na dapat ako umasa dahil from the looks of it, wala naman pala talaga akong dapat asahan..

guy#1 naman..oh well, im really surprised that he made the first move to finally be friends with me again.. though im scared that he would hurt me again, i sometimes feel stupid for not turning him down, kahit friendship lang yung hinihingi nya.. maybe because i am unsure that i wouldnt love him again.. alam mo yung naka-move on ka na pero parang there's a hint of love na nafee-feel ka pa pala for him because you still hold on to the thought na baka sya pala yung destined for you? dahil sobrang perfect lahat ng na-experience mo sa kanya? but still, you cannot change the fact na he hurted you deeply and that's what makes you think na baka ma-hurt ka nya ulit..ang gulo actually..

*********************************************************

now, im finally realizing why the rain's been pouring that hard.. because i refuse to cry.. everytime i refuse to cry, the sky's been doing the crying for me..ang galing nga eh..it happened before with Marlon, and now, its happening to the guys who would cause the death of me..

weird but true..

for guy#2(mahirap mag-initials, pero you know who you are i guess..if youre reading this..)

Here Tonight-HALE
So long to you my love
Don't be afraid to run away
I know you'll be okay
Just take your time to find

But i need you here tonight
I need you here inside
I need you here tonight
I really, really need you here tonight

Made up my mind on this
Too late for me to hold you back
Maybe to short or dumb
To cry for you but i will anyway

It's all my fault
To feel this way for you that day
I know i am and i will
Though it's wrong,so wrong

Cause i need you here tonight
I need you here inside
I need you here tonight
I really, really need you here

I need you, i need you
I need you here inside
I need you i need you
I really, really need you

Sunday, July 03, 2005

went to skul for literally nothing

i went to school today for nothing...literally..

******************

i thought i could get the handouts for my report but to no avail, the power at the library's down, and probably in the whole UST..though i went to class knowing that im already late, i found out when i got there that Sir Chua hasnt arrived yet..good..,then saw the mic and went on the platform to just piss all my classmates..

it felt good actually..

especially now that im feeling down, without a lovelife, and learning a lot of things that im not supposed to happen..

wanna know what im talking about?

BLIND ITEM:
guy #1: he was probably the only guy that i loved deeply, and now, i think he's happy with the actress look-alike..im not happy for them because i choose not to be..wahehehe...

guy#2: after 8 months of waiting for him to court me, i found out na may girlfriend na yata sya..wow naman.. i shouldnt have rejected the guys who has the potential to love me.. though nagka-boyfriend nga ako last summer, i feel as if it still isnt fair because we havent really cleared our feelings toward each other.. o baka naman ako lang yung umaasa na may feelings kami sa isa't-isa..now that is one thing to consider.. i just wish na sana, hindi ko nalang sya na-meet..couldve spared myself for another heartache..

*************************
kaya ill just hang on til i graduate na muna.. ayoko na main-love..badtrip.. i never thought that i would talk this way again..am actually avoiding these stuff na nga eh..

kilig kilig pala yesterday, may booth ng NESCAFE sa Catwalk, then there's this one guy na cute and he sings so well..btw, if i could find someone like him nga, i would reconsider what ive said..hehehe

and my deadline for the other report is on wednesday na..love ko na talaga si mam tuble..

***********************
LSS CORNER
The Day You Said Goodnight-HALE

Take me as you are,
Push me off the road the sadness,
I need this time to be with you
I'm freezing in the sun;
I'm burning in the rain
The silence;
I'm screaming,
Calling out your name
.
And i do reside in your light
Put out the fire with me and find
Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles
That's what i'll do if we say goodbye.
To be is all i gotta be
And all that i see
And all that i need is time
To me, the life you gave me
The day you said goodnight.
The calmness in your face
That i see through the night
The warmth of your light is pressing unto us
You didn't ask me why
I never would have known oblivion is falling down.

And i do reside in your light
Put out the fire with me and find
Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles
That's what i'll do if we say goodbye.
To be is all i gotta be
And all that i see
And all that i need is time
To me the life you gave me
The day you said goodnight.
If you could only know me like your prayers at night
Then everything between you and me will be all
Right.

To be is all i gotta be
And all that i see
And all that i need is time
To me the life you gave me
The day you said goodnight.
She's already taken,
She's already taken
She's already taken me
She's already taken,
She's already taken
She's already taken me.
The day you said goodnight

Saturday, July 02, 2005

sports writer am i?

i think i could also be a sports writer..

ewan ko but i guess im always eager to be in Mam Mamawal's class.. parang now, im really taking journalism seriously and im proud to be in it..damn proud! after all, ilang months na lang naman, malapit na kaming mag-graduate, why not take things seriously diba? so yun, i guess this course is really destined for me..nyahahaha!

so anyway, i never really liked sports because i think its somewhat a complete waste of time, but now, feeling the adrenaline and all, i think im gonna like sports writing na.. and get the chance..again..ahem, to TRAVEL is really rewarding..kaya im gonna take these subjects for real..

so yun, and im really glad that Mela, Brent and I are okay now..this is gonna be a blast, going with the thesis and all..ayun..masaya lang ako..

and were planning not to go to the acquaintance party..i know, last year na to, but then, we still have lots of movies to watch then plan to go to baywalk..and hopefully, my fone would be alright at that time..

JOURNALESE na pala kami ni brenti..features ako..news sya..galing galing..i passed!hehehehe

sad..not going to Iloilo na..i guess we'll just have to catch Kuya Arnel and his family when he goes back to Manila..sigh...

gotta go..have class pa..

Friday, July 01, 2005

senior year sucks

nakakapagod ang senior year..

imagine me saying this..and to think that ive been here for 3 weeks pa lang.. ang badtrip ko talaga..but i guess some things are really rewarding once you get to see what'll happen next..

1. i feel as if my friends would reunite soon..not just because of the thesis, but i would make them realize that quarrelling isnt an option..world peace na! senior na eh..ilang months nalang tayo magkakasama, so dapat okay na lahat..

2. knowing that in a few months, i would be able to graduate and face the real and dreaded world.. like nga sa discussion namin sa broadjourn kanina, super bibbo ko talaga..and as Mam Mamawal described me "mashowbiz", i really know im destined to work for tv..if not as a newscaster, pwede na rin maging singer..imagine per 30 second slot ng commercial, PHP275,000 agad? 'STIG!

3. hoping na after grumaduate, i could find a real job in television or print, then do my own thing..yung tipong i would search for Mr. Right na and marry him na..hahaha..could see visuals right now..gudlak talaga sakin..
and btw, i tita josie, KAi's stepmom, said na pwede na daw ako magboyfriend sabi ni papa..imagine? ang tatay ko, sinabi yun..problem lang, KUNG meron ngang ipapakilala..eh mas gudluck, wala eh..


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ayun, i had too much work kagabi..from literary criticism to filipino, then tonight, would shift to commtheory and ethics assignment..and though i still have lots of priorities, i would still like to go to Iloilo for the weekend..ewan ko..may urge ako to see my relatives..kasi kahit hindi nila ko masyadong kilala, sila yung sobrang proud sakin..galing galing!

my fone isnt working yet..turned out na yung charger pala yung problem..i had kai's dad to fix it..not naman asap, kaya back to 3310 muna ang ria..haay, i feel less without my fone na..pano ba naman, ang mga friends, nasanay mag-take ng pictures..at syempre, ang memory..hanep talaga..promote promote..


bagong koreanovela frenzy!:oh feel young!

pilseung

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