Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Movie Night Tuesday

Uber toxic right now. Have been doing presentations for our newly-hired staff. They will be starting tomorrow, and I couldn't get a hold of myself right now because their training will be so vital and all. I just hate that I'm feeling sleepy right now.

Have plans on meeting Hon later. It'll be a movie night Tuesday, Apparently, my brother has been bragging last week about The Simpsons. Yes, while I'm stuck at Nova, he is having a grand time, watching movies. The perks of being a college student. Leaving her sister, suffering as Mom's sort of yaya. So today, I'm going to enjoy this night. I don't effing care if I go home late tonight. Weekends aren't fun anyway. Hence, I'd be timing out early today and meet him at Greenbelt.

People have stopped celebrating their birthdays already. My mom reprimanded me the other day because she thought I was making the birthdays and all my gimmicks up so I could escape doing chores at the house. I just reminded her that I wouldn't be going out that much anymore, the next birthday that I'm gonna go to is my own. Maam Kit and Miss Ivy are so excited for my birthday because its gonna be my first time to celebrate it here. And since its gonna be the start of the BER-month, we are also looking forward to Christmas Party AGAIN. I wonder what theme would it be next. Last year was a Pink Party, I couldn't wait for this December. Now I have to figure out how this August could get over immediately just for me to finally turn 22. :D

He says I'm gonna receive something huge. I said I'm gonna return it to him. He said we'll be fighting if I do return it. Goodluck to our relationship.

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If I were still studying, I might be doing thesis by this time. I remembered our study about weblogs. How we were the first group to be tackling about it at UST. NIce huh? Pioneer study became flat ONE. I missed my thesismates. I actually missed my friends. And her too, even though we already parted ways. Memories of cramming are still fresh in my oh-so-forgetful mind. If you know what I mean, haha, I also missed Maam Rivera, who painstakingly make us read Focault, Oedipus Rex and watch Rashomod. I mean, who knows Rashomod better than Maam Rivera. huh? hehehe.

4Journ1 is love. Reunion anyone?

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Have to blab somewhere else. More projects to go. Wish me luck! :D

Monday, July 30, 2007

Goodbye Harry..

Finished Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows last Saturday, at 10:22 pm.

The book was extremely superb.It only proves in every battle, good always trample the evil, and with flying colors at least. :D Okay, so I have been mourning that night to those characters who fought for their families and the yearning to make their world a better place. To Hedwig, Mad-Eyed Moody, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Fred Weasley, and Severus Snape. They will all be missed because they have been with Harry until the end. They have not died in vain, and their deaths made me appreciate their characters more. I definitely loved the story. I loved the happy ending. I loved how Harry and Ginny became husband and wife. I loved how the twists and a dozen questions formed inside my head and were answered with a much unexpected situation. I also loved how it kept me guessing in the end. Now I remembered what I answered at the answer sheet at Powerbooks the last time we went to Greenbelt, if Dumbledore is still alive or not. I answered yes, because it has been possible for Voldemort to live again. What a disappointment to know that he is really dead.

If I were to put more scenes in the movie version, I would probably spend more time on "A Flaw in the Plan". Dumbledore explained to Harry the reasons why Harry has to sacrifice his own life, as seen on the Pensieve. Or how Dumbledore told Harry everything he has to know about his death, how he would continue to battle Voldemort, how powerful Harry is and how Harry knows better than the Dark Lord.

I bawled into tears at the scene when Harry asked Dumbledore if their conversation was real or all an imagination. Especially when Dumbledore answered, "Of course Harry, its all in your head, BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT ITS NOT REAL."

Sadly, the saga is finished, meaning I wouldn't rummage for copies of the book or have talks with friends about the upcoming book and all that. Well I guess, that is where the movies come out. And I will happily wait for movies 6 and 7. :D

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Went to Greenbelt last Saturday to celebrate with Maam Kit, her family and friends. Most of the the officers in our office came by the reception. The food at Cyma was so sumptuous. I am still craving for the dessert. Hopefully, I could go there again.

Mom is weird. She is pushing me to take driving lessons. How in the world could that happen is she drags me to Nova every weekends? I am not even capable of having my own life, more so to take driving lessons? And in the event that I learned how to drive, will she allow me to take their new car? I guess not, I know I'll be stuck with the junk we've been driving since I was eleven.

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Thank you for those who posted their comments regarding my last post, and how I tried to vent out my feelings. I know I'm just so mad that time for me to cause a huge deal out of a nobody. Its just that I couldn't take that sheer arrogance. I hope you could understand that. I know its intriguing. haha.

Also finished "Which Star Are You From" last night. Super sweetness galore. I could imagine myself being Hailin and Hon being Shengxi. Well, of course, Hon isn't a director, but still, Hailin and I were both writers and princesses in our own little ways. :D Watching the Korean version and having sleazy English subtitles ruined the story for me. Its the same as saying that you shouldn't speak in English when you don't really know what it means, or you don't really know how to correctly express it. Magtagalog ka nalang kasi, sakit sa ulo ginagawa mo dear. hahahaha. This also goes by saying na kung Writing ang forte mo, anung tawag mo sa writing ko, hobby? Hobby lang para ang pinagpaguran ko sa pag-aaral sa UST ng apat na taon. I think my fellow journ grads might have to agree with me on this one.

"wag mong sabihing magaling ka dahil ang pagsusulat, hindi yan nasa dugo lang, nasa pinag-aralan, nasa tamang practice, at nasa tamang katinuan. and communication isn't how you express your feelings alone, its how your readers could understand the words you're saying. Am I right or am I right?"

Yeah, I'm ranting in your face. Now its up to you kung tamaan ang matatamaan.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Partying On..

Now I am habitually posting before work, so I wouldn't be distracted the whole afternoon.

Anyhow, Kuya Bernard shifted from calling me "concert queen" to "Hermione". He said that I have been going to the office, holding the DH book without a care in the world. Also saw me reading althroughout lunch, even with the lights and airconditioners off.

Will go to Maam Kit's baby's Baptismal tomorrow. Most of the FC Officers will be there. Heck, I'd be seated with the big bosses. Sir JAAC will be there. Yikee. Not that I do not like him, just that he's dreamy and all, and after all, he is the BIG BOSS. I am just so intimidated by him. I remember yesterday during lunch, I was babbling with officemates and all when he suddenly popped out of the blue. I swear I would keep my mouth shut at times. haha. Hopefully, everything will turn out okay. Now I'm worried which dress to wear. Not formal, but not too casual. Hopefully, I could rummage and whip up something tonight.

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Luckily, I prevented myself from getting sick. The moment Maam Kit learned that I was feeling a little queasy yesterday, she immediately asked me to take her oh-so-ready medicines. But the moment I got home, my bed already called for me. Ignoring the six missed calls that Hon has been doing for the past hours.

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Will cover an event this Thursday for a tie-up with an uber huge company for a payment facility. Hint: near Podium. So nice. :D

Maam Kit told me that she has already seen the work of our hired Ad Agency for the new product to be launched. And she told me that they were beautiful. (Elizel, I think this is your baby, though I am not really allowed to say this first). She said that they grasped our idea, also having this apple and all at the layout. I was so proud and beaming to tell her that Elizel probably worked on it. Then she was relieved that we were having the same thoughts, that I just told her that "Shempre Maam Kit, UST rin po sya eh, and thats why we all think alike and have bright minds". Liz, if youre reading this, I am sooooo proud of you. :D

Have to go plan my bright future and world domination. Haha. I'm no Zafra. :D

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Sinking Thursday

I'm in the dumps today.

Apparently, this one person who I treated like a sister have been transferred to another department. It just feels so bad that they have given us a day's notice to sink into our minds that she will no longer be joining our team. I know, its just the other department, but I have established this bond with her and Ive already considered her as one of my friends. The mere fact that I wont be seeing her most of the time or even talk to her during lunch or breaktime makes me sad. Maybe I'll just hope she'd do good there at least.

I am halfway through Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I refuse to read spoilers from the people who are already done with it. Hence, super babawi ako once I finish the book. I'm gonna write a five-pager review. Nyahaha. Like I could do that. (O_o)

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I actually have loads to do right now, but my brain isn't like a well-oiled machine right now. Am currently sleepy and feeling (hopefully not) sick. I feel as if I'm in this different time zone and feeling a little jet lag. Ironic, but I haven't experienced one in my whole life, considering that I may have taken a lot of plane rides in my life, going back and forth to Iloilo and other places.

Some big shot creative designer praised me a while ago during our meeting. Apparently, I also have a beautiful mind (tag to Elizel, someone called me a beautiful mind too.). Since I couldn't in-my-effing-life draw something except a stick figure, he told me that being creative doesn't mean you know how to finish a portrait. He saw my scripts and told me to try being in the media circle or some sort. I shrugged and told him that I need more experience at that field and am gaining a whole lot of confidence first before I step out of the corporate world again.

...or maybe because I don't want to leave my boss without a replacement first. Or scared that I may not find someone who's like her, strict but giving, direct but amiable. Who would, in the right mind, ever consider having a good pay but backstabs you than an average one but makes you feel appreciated? Sometimes, things aren't that fair.

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Have to go now. I'm kinda puffy right now. Blah-ness. :D

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Might just be perfect..

My early morning coffee fix is kinda ruining my tummy. I hope I could last a day without getting sick. On the contrary, I had a good start. Though I woke up really late because I tried to read THE BOOK and talk to Ninya at the same time last night, it prevented me to have the usual sleeping time that I was yearning for ages. You see, Hon already went back to work after a few weeks, so I thought I could already doze off early. But everytime I try, I just have to have this gazillion work to do, or a very precious book to read, or call someone just to vent out the latest happenings or whatsoever. But I'm not complaining, I just don't want to keep this as a habit or else, regret it after a few years time.

Hon says I found a new "key-ar-ai-es". I was blabbing yesterday about this girl whom I amusingly criticize. The way she looks, the way she speaks, the way she brags about her oh-so-perfect-life, and the way she thinks she better than anybody else, when in fact, she flat-out NOT. Imagine Paris Hilton after 50 years, dysfunctional and bed-ridden, well, they could be sisters of that sort. The only thing was, Paris Hilton I could still tolerate, but her, well only if she pleaded me to. Piece of advice, if you want to notch your level higher, try reading a dictionary, do not create your own version of vocabulary. It would only bring you humiliation, especially to those who would spend their time reading your strenuous "words". Or better yet, consult your professors. I think they might re-evaluate the points that they gave you for your class.

Well maybe after a while, I could write a book about that one.

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Am currently designing a material for a new product, and at the same time, running an article inside my head. I could actually explode right now. I'm just thankful that one of my colleagues think I have the skills for it, or else, I would totally lose my brains out, hoping for a better outcome of work. Or I could charge them for the designs. Haha. I'm not greedy, its just lately, when all your efforts are appreciated but still you get the same treatment from anybody else makes me feel that I am worthy to be somewhere else. Someone who could offer me something huge. That I could work for another company so I could learn more than I know now. Just maybe. Wherever the wind blows me. :D

The other night, some neighbor told me the Aussie-based ex is planning to have a vacation here. I'm just pissed that some people still has the nerve to talk me about it. I mean, I have my own life now, and Ive gotten over the fact that he is this a*s-wipe, casanova who doesn't even respect someone his own kind. Nosy neighbors are always butting into someone else's business. Couldn't you ever forget him? That he left, and I have to stay here because I have a life here and maybe, just maybe, I was made for someone else? So jurassic. My gawd.

My friends, that is why a few years back, I decided to just be a loner, together with my books, and my sanity. But fortunately, Hon found me in my solace, and I am perfectly happy with it. And hopefully, this might be it.

Thankfully, I got everything back. May everything be a happily ever after despite all. :D

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Spoiler Stopper

So now I finally had an escape to blog. Some fortunate and unfortunate things happened this week,

As one friend used the word "counterbitching", I may have whipped up something for myself too. This "whoever" asked me if I, or my friends have been sending threat mails or something at her accounts. Okay, how could that be fairly possible if I don't even have the luxury to blog for almost a week, or even write something decent these days? I cant even finish this particular book in one sitting anymore, but to spend my oh-so-precious time to send hate mails? I have a life. So please, spare me your suspicions.

Let me clarify that I am not this bitchy brat here. Not my nature, if you know what I mean.

But if I ever do have saviors again, thank you very much. Just shows that some people do still care for me.

In line with it, I could still remember the last time someone defended me. Someone I do not know. Up until now, he is still an anonymous person to me. You see he emailed the guy who hurted me and threatened him. Then apparently, the guy asked me to tell this "savior" to stop sending hate mails to his account. But really, I never knew him. The "savior" emailed me once but stopped after that. Not that I would really want to thank him for doing so, because I got the blame, but it only shows that some people are willing to be by your side when hell breaks loose.

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I am currently lost in the world of Harry Potter. Hopefully, I could finish the book tonight or tomorrow morning. Even slept late just so I could finish at least four chapters. So tonight, I am yearning for zero-disruptions of some sort because I definitely wouldn't want to be left behind the people who are through with the Deathly Hallows book. Wish me luck. :D

Celebrated the Fourteenth Month last Saturday by buying the book. Nice huh? Anyhow, things are getting smoother these past few days. Though there may be uncertainties, mostly on my part, we are hopefully getting back in the nook. I remember my mom telling me that I shouldn't pick a fight with him most of the time. I know that she may have disapproved most of my beliefs but then, I know she cares about Hon and I. After all, Hon's mom and my mom established this loveteam back when we were three, so maybe they could at least sense a good feeling about us.

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Was home alone last night (well, if you wouldn't count my lola, who has practically been invisible all night) and was the first time in months to do the usual stuff that Ive been doing when I have the house by myself. Though I am tempted to touch the PC to arrange my files, being the neat freak and all, I just went to grab my Charmed Series while having my long awaited hiatus. I miss those times at home. That's why I'm wishing that mom finally gets better.

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Next Saturday would be the Christening of Maam Kit's Baby Joshua. I'm really excited. Just that I have witnessed the miracle that has grown from her tummy until she finally saw her baby. So weekend is a Greenbelt Saturday for me and yummy treats from Cyma. hahaha.

Have to go. Full blast article coming up. Hopefully, a byline would be next. Muah!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Harry Potter and IMAX= Perfect Day

Okay, Ive been itching to post this..

Seen Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix last Saturday at IMAX 3D. Spoiler as I may seem, it was by far the best movie I've seen in my life. Probably because I have been a fan for years now and I have been reading the book from HP1 to the 6th. And seeing it on Imax, is a different experience because you could feel as if you could kiss the characters and even follow them in their adventure. :D

So to tell the whole experience, here goes:

Harry Potter at Imax is at its best because you are like in this different dimension and all. When everyone flies, you fly with them. When there are shattering pieces, it shatters in front of your eyes.

Even the characters are believable this time. I think after four movies, their amateur ways have been honed already. Daniel, Emma and Rupert are magnificent as always. They never fail to make you feel that with real friends around you, even the most impossible things could be possible. In addition to the team, Luna Lovegood was portrayed well. She is what you could say, dazzling. Though in the book, you could imagine her weirdness. The Dumbledore's Army was great. Harry was the HOTTEST teacher Ive ever seen. Haha. Oh and Dolores Umbridge is so nasty. I hated that she made Harry write lines with his blood. Or the other students, I mean. Fairly, Umbridge's character was very genuine. She has like teacups and cats which proves that she's this old maid and all.

The fight scene was the coolest of them all. Imagine me bawling into tears when Bellatrix Lestrange shot Sirius Black with Aveda Kedavra and when Lord Voldemort tried to possess Harry and tried to prove that he is this weakling. But as flashing memories came to him, well, Voldemort went wrong. The effects with the prophecy, Death Eaters and the falling shards of glasses were highlighted with 3D so you feel as if they were falling within reach. Maybe the hardest of all was when I was crying and I had to see through the 3D glasses, so I wouldn't miss the remaining scenes. Hahaha.

Well, if you have read the Harry Potter Books, well, you'd get a teeny-bit disappointed that some of the scenes are not really portrayed, or the wrong characters said the wrong lines, Cho Chang to be exact. Or maybe they just wanted to hate Cho so Ginny and Harry would we supported at Movie 6. Even Draco Malfroy came out at least 2 or 3 times at the whole movie. Kinda tricky isnt it? But Yates gave a magnificent translation of the book as it started to like an indie-film or some sort. I saw the loneliness of the surrounding and I appreciated the movie.

I think I would definitely cry at the 6th and 7th movie.

There goes my Imax and Harry Potter experience. Try it too. So fun. :D

BTW, again, thanks Hon for making these possible. Muah!

Friday, July 13, 2007

Countdown to our Harry Potter Screening

I feel as if I couldn't sleep tonight. Or wake up earlier than I used to. I don't know. I'm just so psyched to watch Book 5 since we were like talking about the movie since we were in college. You see after reading book 5, Brenti and I had discussions on how they would execute the fight scenes and all. And I'm crossing my fingers that I wouldn't be disappointed.

Well, I'm about to find that out tomorrow. hahaha. :D

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Ive seen a guy this morning with an ICAM uniform. Meaning, he is in his high school. Just that I haven't been to my Alma Mater for so long that I forgot that they already have male students. MY EXCLUSIVE school has lost its touch. Oh well, I miss the all-girl combination. Really. No matter how many girl-turned-boys or something are there, I miss how everyone is comfortable with one another, knowing that no one could like bully them or something.

On the way to work, I've seen the UST Main Bldg., passing Bambang via LRT. Anyhow, I could imagine Maam Cabral announcing "The Pontifical, Royal and Catholic University of the Philippines, UNIVERSITY OF SANTO TOMAS!!" Well, I would definitely come celebrate on the 400th year. 2011 here I come. hehehe. Or maybe I just missed going to school, and the fun of it.

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I'm so busy lately. I don't know how I'm gonna do things at the same time. I'm also beginning to lack time with Hon hon. I don't know how I'm gonna make up to him na. He says he understands and we couldn't do anything about it anyway, but it seems that our absences makes us grow farther. I hope not. Love you muah!

Rain's pouring hard today. I just wish we could get home somehow. Happy Friday the 13th everyone.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

I want you to understand, that you're the only breath that I breathe...

"I am in love with you. Even though I feeling the dumps, the nearness of you lifts me a lot of notches higher.

And although everything cannot go back to where it was before, I hope you could stay with me.
..I know this because you are special. And in you, I found my forever."

I wish I could write a song one day. I don't know, just for the heck of it. Its just that I have written poems (although Ive said I'm not much of a poet) but I want a melody to them. I hope to do something original. I guess I have to learn my keyboard again.
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I was number two at our Post-test at the seminar we've been last Friday. Miss Ivy was so proud that I got a higher mark than the AVP and the Supervisors of a certain department. Maybe when I get my confidence back, I could say yes to that EIC thingie. Though I am still uncertain because the endorsement was also uncertain. I just feel so happy that EVP-GM prefers my work than this other department. I am uber honored. Promotion anyone? hahaha

But silly as it may seem, I am still hoping for other options, or another work. Somewhere I could practice more. Somewhere I could learn more.

Ive seen Kuya Neil's blog and his ramblings about being an instructor at AB. Good luck naman. Okay, let me clarify that I am not saying this because I also want to be a professor or such, but because I remembered college and our professors. He was clear about the happening inside AB and was thinking of the past, like some profs allow us to eat in class, but hindi kanin at ulam --(ui Sir Ian :D). Or a week's deadline for a newsletter (which is worse), even the gossips we have shared especially when it involves a teacher and a student. haha.

It feels nice to recall college. Somehow, I still feel sad that one of my best-est friends of four years let our ties go already. Sometimes, when I think of her, I still hope were friends.

..The things you have to sacrifice because you decided to choose love.

Not that I regretted choosing Hon, but then you cant help but think of the four years that you have wasted being friends and just being thrown in the dumps instead. Well, maybe, just maybe, things will be okay in due time.

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Received a chivalrous act today from a man at the MRT. Or maybe he thought I was sick so he decided to give up his seat and let me take his place. But thankfully, there are still humane men out there. Or maybe I should just learn to trust people more.

Pero kamusta naman at ang sarap ng upo ko sa train that made me sleep until I reached Shaw Blvd. Goodie, I woke up in time. hahaha

I think I need my drive back. I am losing grip to the things I am passionate about. I couldn't even form a decent news article this past few days. Oh lala, inspiration, please deal with me again. You know I'd love to have you.

I am so excited for Saturday (yes, I'm saying this for the nth time). Probably because of the fact that it has been a while since I watched a movie. Then he said were gonna watch The Simpsons. That I am not sure. Though I have a lot of DVDs lined up if ever my mom still carry me to Novaliches this Saturday night. Am definitely bringing the Charmed Series Hon has brought me.

Gotta go! Catch me later. :D

Monday, July 09, 2007

Band Aid Gang

The last time I wore Band-aids was when my feet sores due to new shoes.

Now, I need it more than ever. To cover my pain. Oh well, only few knows the whole truth. Embarrassing story. Haay.

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Went to Nova again last Saturday. Shempre, it was my boring days again. Although I love going there and having my relaxing room, I feel as if my social life with good 'ol Manila and my Hon Hon is missing. And since I haven't seen him since last week, calls are the only thing that makes him feel closer to me. I just hope that Mom finally gets better so I could get my life back.

But on the other hand, seeing him later makes me feel giddy all morning. Even though he's not yet answering my texts. I bet he's still napping.

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My boss is currently at Iloilo. Ahaha. I wish I could go there again. I wish to go back to Guimaras to feast on mangoes (well, hopefully the oil spill was already washed away) or go to my relatives there. I sure do miss them a lot. Maybe because I could only find female cousins there. Or people who are closer to my age.

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Season 70th of the UAAP started last Saturday. With my Alma Mater as the host school. My heart skips a beat whenever the UST Singers sing. I wish I could've been there live. I mean to see the action and all. Well, hopefully. :D

Gotta go continue what I left today. Muah!

Friday, July 06, 2007

Even In Subconscious Ways,The Pain Haunts Me...

I dreamt something last night.

"God saw me crying and asked why feel sad. I replied, Lord, I'm through with my pain. But I could not erase the memory for it lingers everytime it flashes my mind. My heart is breaking, my soul feels shattered. And maybe you could help me drive away the sorrows.

He said, "I would make a deal. If anyone makes you cry or gives you pain, with or without you knowing it, then they will experience ten times of it. Just promise that you will be strong whenever they crush you, because there, you will see your worth. You will see that no one could ever take you away but Me, and the person who asks you for me takes great responsibility because you are my child and in no way should that person try to bring you pain."

And then He left me, with a question in my mind.

If that was real, should I accept it? Will it ease my mind knowing that God will do the punishing when I know that the people I love will experience ten times of my pain? And if it ever happen, that he experiences pain, will I still continue knowing that the people I love suffers because I made the deal?

Life is a mystery indeed. Maybe someday, I could learn to understand how to forgive myself and be back in the nook.

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Met Brenti last night for a night talk or something like that. It feels good to know that I still have a friend after college. Just that, I could talk to most of them, but Brent is different. Its like spending four years together and not giving up on our friendship. I miss our other friends.

Back to Brent, he says that he;ll be going overseas. Aww.. I'm gonna miss him for two years. And it makes me so sad that it'll mean less meet-ups and conversations. So we are trying to make our meet-ups a once or twice a month thing. Well, if both of us aren't that busy.

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Have to go. Work again. tomorrow will finally be rest.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Jampacked July

Too many projects, so little time. Too many commitments and only a few days to prepare.
I have been invited to 2 Baptismals (Mam Kit and Alex's Babies), 3 Birthdays (Miss Ivy's Baby, Edmund, Mico), a Harry Potter 5 movie at Imax, our company's new facility launching for me to cover and a photoshoot...(haha dream on! the last one's a joke).

So anyhow, I'm not sure if I'm gonna live with this month or how will I manage to live through the stressful schedule. At the end of the day, when I promised that I would sleep early, something always come up for me to delay the scheduled sleep or it doesn't come to me yet.

Maam Kit is going to Iloilo, Davao, Cebu and Bacolod. I am so envious. Though she has to come home on the same days she will be in those provinces for her baby. Sad..

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I haven't been that transparent about my problems. Maybe because people see me as this jolly person who always wear a smile on her sleeve. That even to the point of pretending, I could smile. That when I feel sick, people couldn't even recognize my pain.

But let me start by saying that I've been fighting rubbles of the past. Fragments that even I could not understand why I care. Memories I thought have long forgotten and things that came from the pain of endless waiting. Waiting and never knowing if the feeling will happen again. I know it sounds melodramatic but I mean to stay with the old Ria I used to know One Year ago. Someone who doesn't give a damn if she makes mistakes. Someone who never lets anyone push her down. Someone who makes her own decisions without anyone telling her. And someone who accepts every challenge life may give her.

..Someone who will say that she proudly healed her wounds and scars are merely there to remind you that you have become stronger.

"The remarkable thing we have is a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude." Charles Swindoll

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

I hope that rainy days would soon be over

I have experienced a terrible storm in my heart. Though I am not sure what will happen or everything will be back to way it used to be, I feel a little relieved that whatever occurrences during the past days will soon be over. Clearly, everything will be in a different order and the feelings might not be the same anymore. And hopefully, I could find the path towards healing and forgiveness.

..That is, if everything I'm trying to believe is true, and that the person whom I depend on sincerely means what he say or do.

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I saw this one drug at Yahoo that could erase a bad memory when taken. I would want to go there (Harvard) to maybe apply as a guinea pig of some sort. Its just that recent events and some parts of my life could help to be forgotten. Really.

Remember "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"? I think it is similar to that. Although the drug is still in the works. I don't know. But for now, its the only reason to escape pain. Or something like that.

Maybe someday, things will be better. I hope.. And I continue to. For God gives you pain, and wholeheartedly accept it for the sole reason that it makes you stronger and believe that everything has its purpose.

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