Monday, January 30, 2006

15 minutes of fame

I think I know how my next boyfriend would be like.

He would be mestizo or chinito.

He would have these pair of amazing eyes, brown, not black.

He can speak different languages. Or play my imagination on different levels.

He would hold my hand all the time. And I would always feel safe with him.

He can play the guitar and piano. And violin would be nice.

He loves to sing, because i find him sensual that way.

Nah, dreams are unreal. And besides, I don't think this guy exists. Well if you do, humabol na sa Valentine's. hehe. Just kidding.

Nababaliw na ko due to information overload. Masyado nang tumatatak sa utak ko yung Eleven Minutes. Though I still haven't finished reading it, I learned so many things regarding *bleep*. Uy, sensitive. but really, I think there's a MARIA in all of us. We tend to love pain because some people may say that it could lead to pleasure, but as Ralf Hart said, it doesn't. We discover the pain because we want to struggle out of it and for such noble things, and that's because of love.

A friend once said that I was a semi-masochist. Ewan ko kung totoo. Maybe before, but not to the extent that I would cut my wrist to hurt myself. But I guess, instead of hurting other people, I would just resort to hurting myself. That I would remind myself every waking moment of the things that happened. And by them, I could contemplate the wrong things I've done. Actually, I hate it when I still regret the things in the past. That instead of moving on, I would just move forward, but not the memories, and that forever haunts me.


Nalaman ko din na "Mean Girl" pala ko. But I think I'm doing myself and this guy a favor by not investing in a relationship. I thought it wouldn't matter to me, but I expected too much. I got scared of the people around me, of the people who know me. Hindi naman ako materialistic, but I think I've changed to seeing reality my own way. So because of guilt, I went to church today and asked God to just take the situation out of my hands. I asked Him to decide on what should happen. And I would gladly accept whatever His will is.


Waah! I wanna watch CLOSE TO YOU. I don't care if I'm seen watching the movie. I'm just so in awe seeing SAM MILBY. Lakas ng impact. I would trade places with Toni Gonzaga if I could have a chance. hehe. Lucky gal that Toni!

I had my much needed rest this afternoon. I mean, yesterday afternoon. Since our house in Nova doesn't have a computer and a telephone line, I didn't have the urge to bug someone. Ayoko na magpuyat. Pero OL pa din ako. Labo. Kasi Ria the red-nosed petite ako ngayon. I have to zap this zit already. Even tried Panoxyl but didn't work that much, maybe I need to re-apply more. And I hope it wouldn't ruin my skin.


May namimiss akong kausap sa fone. Haay, tapos na kasi unlimited ko. Should have texted you first. Wala lang. I had to tell you something. Nakakainis. iba na talaga pag "Instructor" na. Bigatin na.hehehe.

Crap, my tummy hurts. I'm hungry again. Pero since I'm trying to lose weight, I'm eating lesser and sweating with the exercise videos I borrowed from a friend. My dad even caught me doing those exercises. Dyahe talaga! Pero totoo pala yung mga exercise videos na may mga nagrereact pa sa likod pag cool yung exercise. They're so funny. (^____^)

gotta go. Too much space wasted. I wish this downloading stuff would finish ASAP.

And I'm gonna try sleeping for once!

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