Monday, March 29, 2010

This baby is definitely back!

This morning, Magic 89.9's radio program, Good Times, hosted by Mo Twister, Grace Lee and Mojo Jojo threw in a topic called "Baby, I'm Back". Callers have to tell about their story on how they were feeling unlucky at first but then for some time, winning streak finally comes their way. And thus, I can totally relate.

Last year is definitely not my year, as everyone already knows by now. For most of my life, I havent won contests even though its a habit for me to join one. During college, I lost a singing contest, even though I believed I deserve to win. And that made me think that contests do not like me. Even a single raffle wherein anyone could get a simple token made me pick out a "Thank You, please join again" note. But at the start of the year, I feel as if I won the biggest jackpot ever. I had friends at my back when I felt so down. That enough, is proof that I am the luckiest girl in the world.

Then February came...

When I opened the Cosmo issue for that month, the entry I sent them last August was published (though anonymously) and it won me a thousand worth of Maybelline goodies. And if that isn't lucky enough, an email was sent to me that I won premiere night tickets to "Its Complicated". Well of course, I had no one to go with, so I asked my Mom to join me and it started our relationship as mother-daughter-friends.

See, I'm not that close with my Mom. Its even harder to tell her how I feel most of the time because I felt that she might not understand what happened to my previous break-up, but she did. And that was a load off my shoulder. I couldn't be happier because I can finally stop pretending to be so tough and mighty all about it. And she could defend me whenever her friends tend to ask about the relationship. And somehow, I felt that I wasn't the only one battling with my heartaches. She even resorted to ask about my Dad's employee at work where they thought had a thing for me. :P

The first date I had since the breakup is the worst.ever. I had enough of cheating and lying bastards and yet there's Kyle, the biggest scum I've ever met. Or well, second biggest scum I've ever dated. I had to be with him for six hours and yet it feels like it was the longest year of my life. But anyway, at least I learned to trust my gut and be wary of signs that youre with an a**hole. And it made me cautious of the people I meet. So again, not giving up on the concept of love, Jayson went back to my life as a friend and I thought it was great for a while. See, he is like my knight in shining armor. He knows the right words to say. He knows how to make me feel better. He just doesn't feel the right feelings for me. At first, I was devastated, but I guess, the only way to get over a heartache is another person who would mend it for you.

And then came MJ...

When I thought I would swear off chinito guys, Shang went on blabbing about a guy she knew would be perfect for me, because I mentioned I like the Ted Mosby-sensitive types from now on. At first, I didn't want to meet him because they described him as the conyo type, and well, too much conyo is so not for me. Then I found out that he worked at the States. Okay, so swell, because my ideal thing is not leaving my homeland for work or for good. Manila is my first love and I can't imagine going somewhere else, and I want a man who would share my beliefs. Third, he also went out of a long term relationship, seven years to be exact, and well, I'm not sure how much drama I'd be dealing with, especially when I just got out of the same drama.

But in just a week, I have already found a great deal of respect for him. At 25, I can't believe how he's been able to teach me a lot about life and people you encounter everyday. Last night, I was so pissed but he managed to calm me down and listen to me rant. And he managed to say what I have been long been denying to myself. Sometimes, I just wish that I could also feel the same about him. I'm no Summer Finn, but maybe, I am in the process where I feel so cautious on giving my heart away again. He called it the three month rule. :P And he's willing daw to give me another three months or we can screw it instead if I wanted to. Whatever!

I just feel happy now. I don't care about what anyone says. I'm not wearing around the guilt anyway, so why should succumb to yet another argument. My conscience is clear. Explaining is for sissies. And I'm not one of them.

So yeah, I am definitely back in the game, baby! And it's gonna be better than ever!

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