Wednesday, November 11, 2009

How do you know when youre finally free?

--- It's when you can finally get whatever you want without someone pounding you head for questions that you don't even wanna ask yourself. Its also when you think you want something but you cant ask for everyone else's approval that it makes you wonder more how your decision will bring you to your destination.

Went out with ZE GUY FRIEND last Monday. Well, we werent actually supposed to meet because of conflicting schedules, but then, Mench challenged me (or him) if he could actually be there when I say so. You see, first impressions last to me. No, it actually matters about 60% to me. :P

So there he was, all dolled up because he just rushed to go there from work. He had this huge bag which Mench religiously mocked. His face hasnt changed. He still is the same person I met three years ago. He's still serious but never fails to make me feel ilang whenever he stares at me. And he's still the same touchy-feely person that will make you feel as if youve never created distance.

...But he was me. And I am him...Personality-wise.

I actually am freaked out whenever I find someone who's very similar to me. Miss Cherry, or Mench for example. All of us are so brutally frank, gets to be a bitch when situation calls for it, but so forgiving at the same time. Whenever I see myself in them, I get so jiggly that something in me exists in them.

So I am freaking out because he is the exact version of me. He knows the right buttons to push, he knew how to make me feel better, he makes up the cheesy and sappy lines I always tell myself and he knew how to ride up my stupid jokes. He knows how to comment when I feel bad about myself. Its just too, same.

Or maybe I wasnt used to it because I programmed to grow up, to be mature. Now he says Im not that bubbly anymore. He even said I was too corporate-y now. Gone are the time when we used to go all over WTC and doing that summer job. But if you imagine it, it was a four-day stint. I can't believe he still remembers how I were back then.

So here I am, rising again. And rising above and beyond. Things, as they say, will never be the same again, but my newfound freedom taught me everything there is to know about myself and the people around me. :)

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