Monday, June 20, 2005

I feel so bad right now

I still have a half-done report due 10:30 am.. I'm just shy to tell my professor that I couldn’t do it with the limited time and my social life. and yeah, figuring out a way to survive senior year..

But talking to Jayson made it all worth it. Sobrang crush ko talaga yun since sophomore.. all I know is that he's Shang's cousin and developing a "crush" on him feels hard because Eden also likes him. and I couldnt do anything so I didnt make any move to get him to notice that I exist. And thanks to SUN, I feel as if were close now.. kwento-kwento up to the point na tinanong na nya yung lovelife ko.. and yes, a simple "WALA PA" is the answer.

So kahit sinabi ko yun, he still asked me why.. actually, hindi ko din alam kung bakit eh.. maybe I'm driving off guys who wanted to approach me or anything. I dont want to sound bitter but I don't wanna get hurt...again.. biro mo, after SEVEN failed relationships, maiisip mo pa bang ma-inlove ulit? as in ma-inlove talaga.. ako, medyo parang this is my resting period.. my solace from the seven different guys ive been with. Lahat naman sila minahal ko, but then, I guess giving your all still isn't enough.. somehow, they feel as if I couldn't complete them.. sad reality in life.. kahit sinasabi nilang, its not you, its me... PARANG AKO PA DIN YUNG MAY KASALANAN SA LAHAT.

But I'm hoping for a next relationship that would really work and last. Parang kila mama and papa. Even though they’re often miles apart, they still held on to their marriage vows and still loving each other despite all the odds and longing that they're into..

So yun.. nakakatawa lang yung conversation naming ni Jayson kasi I really wanted to know kung sino yung crush niya.. for sure hindi ako yun, pero kung ako man yun, magiging super happy ako..hehehe

Ay ria! You have been reading too many love story paperbacks na! Reality check!

but it still feels nice to believe that when you turn around the bend, the man of your dreams will finally appear, looking deep into your eyes and falls in love with you forever.. that is my happy ending...
violent reactions anyone?

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