Dear Survivor Self,
How are you really are? How are you holding up with the things that are happening to you?
You seem okay with your everyday selfies. While looking for quotes that come with your daily photos at work, you seem so strong, and fine, and unfazed by the heartbreak that shattered your dreams. You just keep on moving on and somehow, you seem fine. Just fine.
You do not have the greatest stories in the world. But when it comes to the matters of the heart, it's a different genre. They say that you shouldn't air out your dirty laundry, but if it's how you become stronger and wiser, you tell your stories out loud.
You are a survivor of a "ten-year relationship" heartbreak. And believe me, it is much harder to deal with it during a worldwide pandemic. If it were during regular times, I would easily escape to another place, an out of town trip or a week-long vacation to other country. That would be easier, because you'll be looking at a different perspective or another people's culture. But in a time where you can't even travel outside your home, it hits the hardest.
How you managed your composure when the love of your life left you, while also losing some friends because of the Corona virus, is beyond your strength. Your loved ones would always ask you what happened, but you just shrugged them and say, "thank you, next!". It's as if you memorized that song so well and put it to heart, because you still hope for the best.
You are doing well because you still have FAITH. You have your family and friends who are always there to support you - even from afar. Thankful for the technology today, your best friends are just a Zoom away, you can talk to your Mom via messenger regularly since she has been locked down to your other home. But aside from your strong support system, you've always had that HOPE that things will get better and that little sting will eventually heal.
You are far from having another relationship but you know that healing takes time. It is scary getting lost, but you know that moving is the only way to get better and wiser. I cannot tell you what lies ahead, but I know that YOU GOT THIS.
And that is why I cannot wait for the day when you finally get to leave all your worries and heartbreak again. Take all the time you need to become stronger, and love yourself more, so when the day comes that you have to give your heart out again, it will all be worth it.
Love, Ria
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