Thursday, March 10, 2005

drama queen

"Porke't ba pinili ka, ibig sabihin ikaw na ang mahal? Eh paano kung iba ang naririnig ko sa tibok ng puso niya, at iba ang nakikita ko sa mga mata niya?Kailangan pa rin ba kong maniwala sa pinanghahawakan kong ako ang pinili?"

ok.. this is kinda edited, but I got it from HIRAM, the other night. I kinda felt sad after hearing this because I believe it is true. I have been a sucker for romance. And I actually believe in happy endings, I'm no princess, but I strive to be in my own little way.

I guess Im still hooked on my relationship with STARFISH.. I think of him once in a while but the pain isn't there anymore. If I were to make it literally, there are bruises all over me, but they're just there to remind me that I once loved and got loved. Sometimes, I would contemplate if he really loved me. If all he said was true. The fact that we had a great connection wouldn't prove how great his love for me is. Like the line above, I am the present woman, but I didn't really feel that way. I guess there's something that holds him back towards loving me.I was swayed by the fantasy that he put me in that I didn't recognize that it was all a game.But that made me stronger, I guess. Whatever my position is, Im just glad I had a chance to love him.. So thanks for everything, although you hurted me so much..

And if I could heal one's heart, I would probably heal Carmela's.She held her past relationship too tightly.. That she never saw her own shadow finally leaving her.. I know I'm not her sister but I care for her so much.. She would often overreact, and please don't get mad, but sometimes I get tired of it.. But whenever I put myself on her position, and the position Im in right now, I know it really hurts.. Although you tell yourself that life goes on, it would be incomplete.. Sometimes, I wish my friends would be just like Barbie's.. If one part is broken, you could still put it back and never saw that it was once ripped.. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to ease whatever pain she is right now, but I want to believe that it would also fade away..Im hoping for the best..And I hope she realizes that Jayson isn't good enough for her..I just wish Starfish hurted me so much for me to hate him and dump him for good..Im actually wishing to hear news that he and Ms. Mahal got back together.. maybe then, it would just be easy to really forget him.. But I'm not placed here to see the situation.. Im here to actually fix my life and stand up again..Though Mr. Right isn't here yet, I would still try to wait for him.. As for Carmela, I know he'd come to you soon..You just have to believe that he will seek for you..=)

Oh well, soap opera time's over..But it's so ironic that even in real life, soap opera stories still do exist..

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